Small Talk, Stronger Working Relationships
After working in China for more than 16 years, I have noticed that many local non-teaching staff rarely make small talk with their overseas colleagues.
This is not because they are incapable of it. In fact, I have often seen Chinese colleagues chatting warmly and naturally with close friends. They talk about food, family, travel, shopping, television programs and everyday experiences. However, with overseas colleagues, their conversations may remain focused almost entirely on work.
There may be understandable reasons. Some staff worry about their English. Others are unsure which topics are appropriate or fear creating an awkward moment. They may also believe that casual conversation is unnecessary in a professional setting.
Yet small talk is not meaningless talk. It is one of the simplest ways to build rapport.
A brief conversation before a meeting or while waiting in line at the school cafeteria can communicate: I notice you. I am interested in you. You are more than just someone I contact when I need something.
You do not need advanced English or a clever topic. Start with simple questions:
“How was your weekend?”
“Have you tried the new restaurant near the school?”
“How are you finding the weather?”
“Are you travelling anywhere during the holiday?”
“How is the new school year going for you?”
“I heard your team had a busy event yesterday. How did it go?”
You can also share something small about yourself: “I tried a new noodle restaurant last night,” or “My journey to work was unusually quick this morning.”
The goal is not to have a long conversation. Even two or three minutes can create familiarity. Over time, these small interactions make it easier to ask questions, offer suggestions, resolve misunderstandings and work through disagreements.
Of course, small talk requires sensitivity. Avoid questions that may feel too personal, especially about age, salary, weight. Pay attention to the other person’s response. If they answer briefly and appear busy, allow the conversation to end naturally.
Like any communication skill, small talk improves with practice. Do not wait until you feel completely confident. Choose one overseas colleague and begin with one simple question. Listen carefully to the answer and ask a natural follow-up question.
Small talk may seem unimportant, but strong working relationships are often built through small, repeated moments of human connection.
Pause and Reflect
How often do I talk with overseas colleagues about something other than work?
What prevents me from starting these conversations?
Which topics would feel natural and comfortable for me?
Who could I get to know better through small talk?
Your Action Plan
This week, start one short conversation each day with an overseas colleague. Prepare two possible questions in advance. At the end of the week, reflect on which conversations felt most natural and what you learned about your colleagues.
